It occurs to me that the Dynasty Warriors franchise is the Japanese Madden — non-fans of the series rail against each new addition as being the exact same game with minor roster changes and shiny graphics, in an effort to dupe morons out of another $60 year after year; whereas fans will passionately defend the series in red-faced exasperation that the games are so obviously different (his shirt is BLUE this time!) and that anyone who cannot see the differences is mentally challenged and a hater. Phew.

For raw, hack-and-slash action, it gets no better than this. Period.

Then there are realists, such as I, who can admit that yes, it is essentially the same game with minor roster changes, game mechanic tweaks and shinier graphics and you know what? That’s just fine. This observation in no way diminishes the fun value of the game. Just as Madden is considered to be the pinnacle of football games, so too is the Dynasty Warriors franchise the pinnacle of mindless hack-and-slash.

As a person who has actually read “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms“, Dynasty Warriors has always held a special place in my heart. As mentioned in other reviews, I nerd out over games that reference actual historical characters and events, so I was hooked early on the series. Also, the fact that I used my superior skills at “The Bouncer” to win a copy of “Dynasty Warriors 2″ at my local Electronics Boutique may have cemented this sentimentality. (Yes this is a true, but equally long story) I mention this only to give a potential frame of reference for this review.

“Dynasty Warriors 7″ is the latest installment to the series, and at the risk of sounding like a raging fanboy, there are noticeable tweaks and upgrades to this game that give it a slightly different flavor. Although, to prove I am not a fanboy, it’s kind of like ordering spaghetti marinara as opposed to spaghetti bolognese — it’s still spaghetti. The major tweaks is the ability to equip any weapon and switch weapons while in combat, Conquest mode vs. Story Mode and the introduction of the town system.

From here you can choose your own adventure.

First is the Conquest Mode. Similar in nature to the previous Musou Mode, Conquest plays as a choose-your-own adventure scenario. Hate the Yellow Turban Rebellion? Feel free to skip it.  However, to unlock certain major battles, you must play certain key battles. Also, certain scenarios are restricted to certain generals; therefore, you won’t be able to grab your favorite one (Da Qiao) and plow through everything. There are new cities to discover along the way which can lead to new weapons, seals (more on that) and general discovery. There are also Character tiles that allow you to fill in the backstory of your character, Animal tiles to unlock new animals and Weapon tiles. Personally, I found Conquest Mode to be the most enjoyable because I felt it offered the most benefit. Story mode, on the other hand, allows you to unlock generals and experience a more linear, story-driven experience, which is not always a bad thing.

The city system has its pros and cons. Between each major battle you may enter your city/town and talk with various NPCs. Most of the soldiers and townsfolk will have poorly voiced, vapid sentiments such as “Wow. What a hecTIC battle THAT was,” or “You should TALK to the BLACKSMITH!” (this is the only way I can effectively convey what sounds like the MovieFone school of voice work) Really, the only useful information will come from your fellow generals and merchants, though it’s best to speak to all merchants before approaching a fellow general as that may trigger the next battle. I took to calling Cao Cao “the ex-girlfriend,” because he just seemed itching for me to talk to him so we could trigger a fight.

But, again, not everyone in town/city is useless. The blacksmiths are the handlers of your seals. Seals are a slight upgrade to the item system of DW3-5. They gain power based upon how many kills you amass with a certain weapon, and on your overall performance in a battle. Hitting the beloved 1000 kill mark will get you higher seal points. These can be used to add abilities and upgrades to your weapons. It’s not a bad system, but it does, at times, feel a little gimmicky, and it feels like another list of things to do in a town. Merchants sell you weapons, animals to assist you in battle and abilities for your generals. There are also tea houses where you can manage your army.

Yes, you may use any weapon and switch mid-combat, but how often you do this will depend on your play style.

The animal system will either irritate you or continually melt your face, depending on your cuteness tolerance. I never found the animals to be a make-or-break factor within battles and found myself selecting them based solely upon how warm and fuzzy they made my heart. (Hint: you cannot top the panda. Period.) Also, can you use any weapon you want? Yes. Did I? Rarely. As a long-time fan of the series, it felt wrong to have Zhen Ji rocking a sword, or Da Qiao using a spear. Sacrilege! Also, while I appreciated the concept behind the idea, it just didn’t seem necessary. Previews of the game hailed that players would want to change weapons mid-combat to suit their particular situation, but I rarely found myself doing this. After I discovered my favorite, fast weapon, I equipped and turned on cruise control, because, as mentioned, that is what Dynasty Warriors is to me: the pinnacle of mindless hack and slash. Nothing is more satisfying after a particularly stressful day at work than to watch my general wade through hundreds of enemy soldiers like a stampeding bull.

On that note, there are a few gripes with the combat system. For one, enemy solider AI is hovering somewhere around that of a chihuahua. The soldiers will, on most occasions, charge you in a yappy, excited fashion, but then they will generally just surround you in a confused cluster. Intermittently, a brave soul will poke you with a spear, but most times it’s just you, your giant weapon and a whole bunch of sheep for the slaughter. Which this isn’t bad for the mindless hack and slash, it does feel like a startling contrast when compared to the enemy generals who are quite aggressive and challenging. Also, on that note, there does not seem to be a latch-on targeting system that I can see. Often times you will find yourself hacking and slashing, only to find that your targets have moved and you are wasting your combo on thin air. This isn’t a problem when button mashing, but does prove problematic with musou attacks. Those with AoE attacks such as Da Qiao, and Xiahou Dun will not suffer, but single target attacks like Sun Shang Xiang will prove frustrating. Nothing is more grating than looking directly at that rat bastard Lu Bu, hitting your musou and in the time it takes for your annoying animation (SSX perks her butt in the air… seriously?!), he has sidestepped your attack and you’re musouing nothing. Grrrrrr…

Ignoring the improbability of her carrying that ridiculous weapon, the charater design is always lovely.

I won’t mention the voice acting other than to say, at this point, I think it is a running gag. After this many years and this many updates, sequels, reboots and tweaks, I refuse to believe they cannot afford better voice acting or direction. At this point it’s just “Thundercats” bad, and they seem to revel in it. Of course, considering the awful lines they are given to read, I suppose they’re doing the best with what they’ve got. You can either press the mute button, or bask in its awful glory as I do.

It occurs to me that I sound like I didn’t enjoy the game and that is not the case at all. The graphics are nice, the character design is stylistically beautiful, so long as you bear in mind that the style is Chinese-Flamboyant. Not going to lie: I was irked with Gan Ning’s bad-boy-in-the-boy-band makeover. But much like the voice acting, if you’re playing the game, you’re used to this by now and should not be scratching your head.

Overall I would say that fans of the series will thoroughly enjoy “Dynasty Warriors 7,” and that it feels new enough to warrant your hard earned money. I’ve already put in some decent time and will most likely continue to do so. People who have never played a Dynasty Warriors entry may want to rent it as I cannot effectively gauge how good an introduction to the series this game is. If you never liked a Dynasty Warriors game in the past, go ahead and give this one a miss because chances are there is nothing here that will sway you over.

Written by Jen Bosier  (460 Posts)

Jen lives with her husband, daughter and super-villain kitty. An avid gamer since the Atari, she honed her skills on Doom 2, Daggerfall and System Shock. A bonafide 360-convert, she plays more than is humanly healthy and is determined to find a decent horror game this generation if it kills her.